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Friday, May 17, 2013

My Mind is going insane without me

Today it seems as if my mind is losing itself without me. I have an incredible urge to work on my book and push forward, but despite this I can't seem to find the words to say. I think it probably has to do with not having written in so long. This is the worst kind of writers block. I know what I want to write, but every time I put it on the page it is phrased wrong, or feels tangential to what is already there. I try trimming up what I wrote before to see if I can make it flow more clearly, but then I simply change it back to the way it was. My mind is screaming "Write!" and I can't seem to muster the will to do so. Yet I think all it would take is just an instance of clarity for the words to flow off my fingers. That may be why I have come here to write. Writing should not be forced, and so I am not going to push until I"m too exhausted. Instead I'm just going to give myself a little nudge here and see if i can start off on something worth while.

On a side note I started working on a program to draw 8-bit sprites. It isn't at all far along yet, in fact it technically just opens a blank page and has a short list of colors available, but it's a start. The game I was working on for my Computer Science class turned out nicely so I am going to use that as the basis of the game and will build it from there. I'm going to have to learn how to use sprites though, which we never covered this semester. In the book there is a section on classes which I understand to be necessary to the usage of sprites so I will have to teach it to myself and use a little experimentation in order to determine how to use sprites.

All in all summer isn't starting well. I still have all the resolve I need to do everything, but now that the moment has come it seems as if I am overwhelming myself with everything I want to do all at once. I need to slow down my mind and just work with the fragments that are before me now. The tallest tower in the world is built a brick at a time, I need to remind myself of this and just keep piecing it together brick by brick (or word by word in this case).

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